which reminds me : ALWAYS pay the extra forty smackers (that is $40 U.S. for youse without a rickanese to English translation manual
) for the glove leather cover if you are fortunate enough to actually own a
man sized cell phone (you know the type,the kind you can actually wrap your paw around instead of those girlie phones you hold with two fingers thinking you look cool while the rest of us laugh at your feeble attempt to be us who it comes naturally to even if phone-less ;D ) because i am here to tell you this is one accessory that is
NOT "all show and no go" unlike 99% of all the other add on gadgetry !
To argue my side I put forward in evidence a real world example of the "leather skin" saving my phone from total and absolute anhilation from would could have been tragic event but instead ended up fodder for another "no eway one person has actually done so much crazy shit" Life of Rick tale,one that I should have been smart enough to avoid up front but if we were always on point there would not be a manditory seat belt law in all fifty states on the "shit happens" theory or human events.
anyway,I'm cruising down the road,nice day,banging my head on the sterring wheel in time with "Dirty Deeds done dirt cheap" and out of the corner of my eye see my phone fly right out the GD window as I turned a corner at speed !
On this day I was driving the Wife's Baretta,not a bad little corner to corner cruiser before it shit the bed,and I had put the phone on the aptly named "Idiot Tray" that some retard dreamed up as a good place to store shit in a car but as we all know if you value it and your passenger side window is open you will be crying a river when it flies out because those fools in Detroit put the fkn tray at the same level as the damn window opening so anything there WILL fly out if you drive over 25 MPH aking that person an idiot for putting it there hence "idiot tray"..........
So I'm bponcing down the road and ZING ! Out the window it goes !
I peek in my rear view and I have cars behind me and they are right on my ass so a sudden stop is out of the list of options,I roll to the next turn,snap a "U-ey" in the intersection,roll back to the scene of the crime and proceed to look for my phone and not having ANY luck
Now I am getting pissed because :
A-I can't find my phone
B-Only an IDIOT uses the idiot tray and I don't care for the feel of that tag much even though it obviously is a good fit presently
C-I am starting to look like a lunatic crawlng around on someones "needs to be mowed" front lawn and again something I am not cool with even though Loony is a term often used in the same sentence with the name "Rick C" (nope,ain't getting my last name that easy
)
...so I am heading back to the car chalking it up to just another lesson learned the hard way and suddenly the phone rings !!!
YEESSSSS ! PERFECT TIMING BUCKO !
Now I have a target and it was not even close to where i was looking (probably could have been going a mite slower around that corner
).When I found it the first thing i noticed was the road rash,evidence that before it made "lazy boys" front lawn it caught some asphalt and also obvious it caught a bunch since the scuffs told a tale of the phone ripping across the road tumbling end over end on the short radius but yet
the phone worked fine because as i picked up the ringing beacon...i mean cell phone.......I answered it (uncommon event,I ignore EVERYONE that calls ME being an antisocial prick with a shitty attitude) then had a nice conversation with the wife as i gave her the blow by blow of "Rick's Great Phone Adventure",had a good laugh thewn bounced down to the pub to slam a couple of cold ones,tell a few lies,yuck it up with the knucklhead club (yup,member ;D ) and in general blow off steam before heading home.
Got home,took the phone out of the cover,examined the glove leather cover,got out the mink oil and worked it for a bit.....bit more...yup ! Good as new peckerweed !
Hell,works for the bike jacket when catching a bit of leftover sand from the previous winter (always on the fkn corners
) causing all manner of leather jacket scrapes and bruises (you don't wanna see my lower right leg
) so why not a little puke wimp ass cell phone cover that had a bad day ?
But then.you guys with those high tec flip phones that do everything but carry your tired ass in the door can't use a cover or you would never get the damn phone open so for you i offer this
SUCK WIND BAYBEE !
You drop yours and the little tinkly sound it makes may likely not even be loud enough for you to realise your phone just escaped and if you should ever go into the the "Rick Zone",that is where on a nice day,good mood,music blasting ytou in a moment of brain lock toss that little mite onto an idiot tray and the passenger window is wide open ?
In the market for a new phone I'm thinking and that means no camera,no music,no on the fly internet,total "virtual" life wiped out in a flash until in a cold sweat you beat feet to the local phone store for a replacement (better hope they are still open or the overnight withdrawel could have deadly deadly consequences being close to what a NORMAL person would consider sensory deprevation
.....not that I feel for you if such should happen cause I don't (see above about mean spirited anti-social prick ;D ),not even a little smidge.............
Rickmeister out